There are times I feel like I have been living single for so long, that I will be single forever or at least until I meet my maker who is my eternal husband.
So much in our society is structured around couples. It’s often assumed that we will all have a partner and that there’s something rather odd about you if you don’t, for any period of time. This negative view is nothing new.
In the first century, Rabbi Eleazar said, “Any man who has no wife is no proper man.” The Talmud went even further: “The man who is not married at 20 is living in sin.” Given that background, it is astonishing how positive the New Testament is about singleness. Paul speaks of it as a “gift” (1 Cor. 7:7), and Jesus says it is good “for those to whom it has been given” (Matt. 19:11).
- The word single means “consisting of a separate, unique whole” (an individual).
- Single suggests being exclusively attentive (an undivided heart).
- And the word single comes from the Latin word singulus, which means “one only.”
Singleness has advantages
Being single is the best way for me to focus on that which I love creatively. I am an artist and an author who has dedicated her life to helping others using the gifts given (my craft) .
Single people do without the “difficulties” of marriage. There are many blessings in marriage. There are challenges as well. And with the divorce rate rising and more young people choosing to take their time in hitching up, it’s obvious to many the hard things couples face. But while some singles see marriage with rose colored glasses, others through their own experience recognize the challenges and difficulties.
There is a downside even when a married couple’s relationship is good. Life is more complicated. There is more than one person to consider in decisions regarding the use of time, accommodations, holidays, vacations and even the daily menu. Marriage does bring “many troubles in this life” and, Paul says, “I want to spare you this” (1 Cor. 7:28).
A strong point for appreciating being single, is that single people can devote themselves more fully to life purpose which is their life’s work. “The unmarried man or woman is concerned about the Lord’s affairs; How to please the Lord. But a married person is concerned about the affairs of this world; How to please their partner and interests are divided” (1 Cor. 7:32-34).
For singles, it can be easy to fall into the trap of focusing on the difficulties of being single, as some do.
Some single people struggle with loneliness and sexual issues. I have struggled with these issues at times, and have come out the other side, to where I am free and never condemned spiritually.
Loneliness and sexual issues are not exclusive to the unmarried. They are also very much a part of many marriages, but now we are discussing this issue for the single person. Some single people will seek to lessen the struggles by getting married. But what many often discover is an entire new set of struggles and another person in the mix, who may not share the same beliefs or experiences. And of course they have come with their own set of problems and difficulties.
In this life, we must be able to discern the truth from the lies. These include the falsehoods we are told within society and our culture. This is very predominant especially for women as well as men. If you are single, you should make the most of the advantages of God’s gift of singleness while you have it.
I think of my life as an act of service
From the day I was touched by the Holy Spirit and born again anew, at the young spritely age of 29, I have felt “on purpose” with a call to help others who are struggling with tough things such as living single. I had a whirlwind of understanding come to me and it helped me to follow a path of my own uniqueness and not conform to cultural expectations.
Human relationships matter, but none is nearly as important as our eternal relationship with the Lord. And we have people in the world that need our help and support. There is never a reason to be lonely when you are on fire for God and living in the moment to serve others. I also believe there are no guarantees in life. In other words, you might think “I’ll have a child so that when they grow up and I grow old, they will take care of me” but I’m here to tell you, that nothing is promised. God gives and He takes away. That’s life. People die, they sometimes fight and hold unforgiveness and tragedy can happen. What I do know is the Lord will always meet your needs; in every situation, every step of the way, when you put your trust and faith in Him and you can thrive as a single person with JOY.